did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
