He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
