is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Such a big mess for such a small penis
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
