I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
