i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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