will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Randomize
