It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
