BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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