I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you win again, gameday.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
