North Korea, Best Korea!
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
