Screwed.edu
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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