I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Do vagina's smell?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
My ass is underappreciated
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
