Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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