3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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