I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Randomize
