were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
