he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
