worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
