I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
