Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
