everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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