yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
false alarm, still single
Randomize
