He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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