There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
