okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
