She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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