we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
