therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
