dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
