does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
