this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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