Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
