are you still at the devil's house?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
