There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
