She said her name was "party"
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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