dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
