His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
