Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
