let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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