The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
