The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
