I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
