OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
