I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
