the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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