Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
