YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
