Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
