There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
