I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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