I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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