barbara walters just said penis...
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
