i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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